Finding Sidney
by Karawen
Summary: This is sort of a modernization of Hades and Persephone. Hades WAS with Persephone in this work, but it is set in modern day. When his newest obsession Sidney goes missing from her home town how will her family and her boyfriend handle the dissappearance? One thing is certain, Sid's dedicated boyfriend Aiden will have to go through hell to bring her back...
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

She's Not in The Past

I'm pretty familiar with waking in a cold sweat. It has been the norm lately. While I waited for my heart rate to return to normal I started reflecting on the dream he'd been having, as if it held the key to fixing his problems. I'd been running through really poorly lit old hallways. The building was old, you could tell because the electrical lines went through little white tubes that were attached to the wall. Everything was worn out too, the paint was a peeling yellow-white, and in some places was worn so that you could see the layers of different colored paint that marked a number of passing years.

Although I couldn't think of a particularly good reason as to why, I was terrified and in a hurry, I was there for a reason. That too, wasn't really surprising…..since _She_ had disappeared virtually all of my dreaming was taking on the form of hurrying and searching someplace for someone people keep telling me I will never find.

Unlike everyone else though, I'm positive she is still alive. Sleep was a no go, so attempting to relax, I began to cycle through the question that was becoming more and more of a tormentor every day without _Her_. Do I think she is still alive because I need her to be, or because she might actually still be alive? For a long time this very question played Cuisinart with his heart, Aiden thought to himself. Finally, just yesterday in fact, he recalled, he had decided that she was alive because she was too strong and too brilliant to be really gone.

As I felt myself begin to drift off again the little clip that constantly replayed in my head did so once more, the last moments with Sid. Sidney was full of complexity. She had pretty golden brown hair and eyes just a little darker than honey. She was tall, but pretty curvy. She had a slight sway when she walked, and even though she was oblivious, he knew, her walk dropped the jaws of many men. She had an addiction to boots, and her favorite pair was some beat up brown ones they always wore hiking. She'd had them on the day she went missing. Actually, funny as most people would think it was, he remembered exactly what she looked like that day. She'd had on those worn out old boots, a pair of blue jeans with a small threadbare spot in the left thigh from where she carried her wallet, and she'd been wearing one of his favorite shirts. It was a blue-green shirt that hugged her curves and hit just at the top of her jeans. It was a nice offset to her slightly tanned skin and it gave her an almost ethereal glow. Sid was gorgeous, intelligent, resourceful, and she was definitely alive I thought to myself. I had to be honest though…..I wanted her to be for my sake too…Deep down I knew that I could have stopped this all.

It always felt like someone forgot the anesthesia and was doing some major operation right in the middle of his chest when he pictured those last few moments with her. Every thought of Sid left me feeling like I had an anvil planted in my chest and someone was taking a hacksaw to my heart while I sipped on battery acid. With a sick stomach and a throat tight from unshed tears—I'll be damned if I cry anymore—I have to admit once more, even if only to myself…if I'd been more persistent, if I'd walked her home she'd be a few minute drive away….I could kiss her in 5 minutes from now, play with her pretty brown hair…..listen to her laugh at my inability to keep my hands to myself around her…..but I can't…because she's not there…..she's not anywhere….NO, she's nowhere that I have looked _yet_.

It was painful to recall asking to walk her home. They'd been walking around town all day because they weather was good and both of them had ditched going to school for the summer. He'd taken her out to a new Italian place that they both really liked in celebration of another semester over with. They had stayed late, and they'd even been given some wine by the little old lady who owned the shop, because "they were cute, in love, and mature enough to handle it when the amount was controlled by an adult." It was still light out when they left the restaurant though, and so being the fiercely independent creature she was, she'd good naturedly kissed his cheek and laughed at his chivalrous request. "I think I can find my way." She'd said. "People don't get kidnapped in broad daylight." Then- he remembered- he'd laughed at himself too. He hadn't had any sense of foreboding or uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He just felt like a goofy guy in love with a beautiful girl, and that's what he was….he should have taken her home though.

He sighed to himself and tried to let sleep overtake him again. He was going to go out and start looking for her, and if it took more than the summer to find her, if it took years even, the rest of his life was on hold until he knew where she was and what had happened. He had to, he thought quietly, he couldn't take not knowing, and he really wasn't sure he could keep it all together without her existing. He, he told himself, he could let her be happy with someone else, hell –he almost pleadingly admitted-he'd hand her over to any man that made her happy if it meant he knew she was safe right now…..he just couldn't take the idea of her being….just gone.

I could tell it was late, the sun was shining almost directly in my dusty window, which meant it had to be about 10am or so. Looking around I realized I'd turned into a slob as of late, just one more thing changed in life, but it slobbish living had its perks I didn't have to get properly up to get a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Feeling around in the floor without turning to look, I found the thin cotton of the shirt from yesterday and the soft flowing fabric of my old gym shorts. I felt like the dead rising out of my bed, tossing on the crumpled clothing I padded downstairs to find food. Fruity O's that I'm pretty sure must belong to Dan, the oldest roommate in the house, the dude was almost 30 and he ate like he was about 4. A scan of the fridge told me there was no milk to steal to go with my appropriated cereal, so instead, tossing the box back on the counter, I chugged some of the orange juice from the fridge. Air sounds good—I thought to myself – while I headed towards my beat up tennis shoes, I was intercepted by roommate number two, Brian. I'd been studiously avoiding contact with other people, I didn't take well –or deserve- sympathy, and I really didn't want to talk. Brian was pretty cool though, and he was as warm and affectionate as a doctor doing a prostate exam, great for the antisocial. "Dude you smell, when was the last time you found some water and a bar of soap? Are you dying?"

Yeah…..warm….affectionate….and wiggling his fingers right up your butt. It was an adequate comparison. "Brian, you sound like my mother….you going to help me wash up too?" I retorted. He was right though, and we both knew it. I admittedly made a move to save my pride. I made a grab at the strings of the bag in the garbage can and started to tie the garbage up while I explained. "I was just going to take this out, it smells like Wesley's gyms socks in here." (On a side note…Wes is lactose intolerant, but he loves cheese….you can do the math…chemistry…whatever.) It was a nice save, and even if it wasn't believable, I knew Brian wasn't going to complain about someone cleaning.

After the trash bag took a sickening and somewhat satisfying plunk into the big trash can by the curb I resigned to improve my hygiene habits and headed towards the shower. I stripped down behind a locked door and cranked the hot water on, maybe between the heat and high pressure I could get some of the tension out of my neck and shoulders. Damn Aiden, I thought to myself when I saw _her_ shower stuff in one corner, you have to quit torturing yourself….you love her, and she's still out there. You'll find her. I showered quickly to get away from the pretty floral print bottles and bright blue louffa. I knew it was borderline cowardly, but I hurt and I was tired of feeling hopeless. To my credit I did find some clean clothes to put on and even some deodorant….might have been a while since I'd worn that…..it was at the bottom of my laundry basket of all places.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Hoping and Searching

If you've ever walked without thinking of where you are going and ended up where you needed to be you'll know what I mean by this. My feet found the familiar old welcome mat of Sid's place. Mr. and Mrs. Welsh were retired and almost always home. I liked being around them because they were really hopeful about Sid too, they were the only people happy to see me still convinced that she would be back again. It had only been just over a year….everyone else had quit hoping, and had long since quit searching. Sid's father always kept an eye out though, always walking around the places she used to frequent with the excuse that he needed to get out. He said that he found peace in tracing her footsteps. I knew it was a bunch of crap. I couldn't stand going anywhere Sid and I had been without her, it just added to the finality and reminded me how much a part of me she was. I had only been dating Sid for about two years, and we had been moving really slow. I can't imagine losing a girl like Sid when she'd been around almost two decades of your life. I decided to turn back and get the Welsh's some breakfast, but as I turned I felt a strong hand fall over my shoulder. "We just got done making some eggs, bacon, and toast….why don't you go in and grab ya some…you look like you're dropping weight…..you don't want an old man like me to be able to kick yer butt to bad now do ya?" Said an old slightly raspy voice with a slight lilt suggestive of the merriment he took from his teasing. His bright blue eyes shone just a little bit, even if they were bloodshot. I guess maybe having me around helped their spirits some too. Sid had stayed living with them since they were in town, so they were reminded so often in so many ways that she may not ever come home. I playfully smacked him on the back, "you're right old man…..I gotta keep this badboy body in shape. Can't keep your daughter in enough trouble of I lose too much muscle now." I winked over my shoulder as he shook his head, and headed in to see to getting some of the breakfast Mrs. Welsh had put together.

Mrs. Welsh was an amazing cook. Glad as I was for the optimistic company, my stomach might have been even happier. I guess I had sort of lost my appetite since Sid's disappearance. But, somehow I almost always feel a bit more like I'm near her when I'm with her family. She has a younger brother too. He's just finishing up high school. He's probably still crashed out in his room. He doesn't seem to be taking Sid's disappearance very well either. He's a pretty quiet guy normally, but he's virtually stopped talking. Anything he says comes out in one or two word phrases and anything beyond that he just won't communicate. I feel like I owe it to Sid to be there for Marcus, and I care about the guy, he's a cute kid. So, I figure that the best thing for a troubled man is to fill his stomach, and then you can talk to him. I loaded some more of those fluffy eggs and crispy applewood bacon onto a plate for Marcus and headed to his room. The door was cracked so I nudged it with my foot. I had silverware in one hand and a plate in the other, to mention his room just barely passes for not being bio hazardous. I take that back…if I was showing signs of depression over Sid; Marcus has to be in some medical dictionary somewhere as the classic case of a complete psychological meltdown. You could not see his floor, I don't mean you saw patches of it, I mean it was literally not visible at all. There was clothing and dishes, trash, and games, magazines, and photographs scattered all over his floor. Also, he wasn't sleeping in his bed…he was curled up in his closet….with a photo of his family all together. Poor guy. Yeah, he needs someone to talk to and to be there for him right now. He's not taking any of this well, I should have been here before now…I'd been selfish, only thinking of how hurt I was and how I missed Sid. I sat the food on his bed, in an area that at least looked clean. Marcus had the same golden brown hair as Sid, but his eyes were a startling green. Marcus mumbled when I tried waking him and fluttered his eyes open for a moment, started to slump deeper down into the closet, and then started awake. AIDEN! Dude! What are you doing in my room!? To say he was angry was an understatement, to say he was embarrassed though, was probably more concise. But as I said, feed a guy, then talk to him. I grabbed the plate off the bed, it and wordlessly shoved it towards the startled and irritated boy. It worked…..he took it started on a few bites, stopped….and asked again without that edge of anger and hysteria, "So, you still haven't said, why are you in my room?" My brain started whirring for a response that wouldn't bruise his ego, and wouldn't come across as presumptive. "I thought you might want food." That was it? That's great….that's all….now how do you go from eggs to "Hey about your missing sister and that HAZMAT fee your parents are going to have to shell out for cleaning"…..yeah there's a little gap there I guess. He filled it in while I was mentally criticizing my lack of social skills. "Thanks"…he said in monotone, pausing he added, "I need to get my bike fixed today, I start a summer job tomorrow and it's too far to walk….is there any way you could give me a lift? I just need a new tire, and to buy some reflectors for when I work late." Perfect, I thought….it'll give us some one-on-one time and I can bring this all up casually. "Sure" I said, "Why don't I come get you around noon and we can grab some burgers and head to the bike place? I'll cover the food." Marcus really does like the local burger place and the shakes; it worked as bribery for the many times I snuck Sid away at night to come stay with me. It let me know just how bad he really was, when he kept his monotone, and his eyes had a dull "nothing matters" kind of look in them that were in perfect sync with his "sounds good, I'll see you then man." He left me standing in his room and shuffled past me towards the bathroom. It was going to take a lot more than a chocolate shake from B&D Burgers to make this better, maybe nothing would make it really alright….but it didn't look like either one of us could afford to think like that.

One the way out I ran into Mrs. Welsh, she didn't show the emotional wear and tear the way Marcus did. She was one of those people who were perpetually warm and friendly to everyone. You could tell though, if you'd taken the time to really get to know her, that she was hurting too. At least I could. As I saw her at the foot of the big wooden staircase first, I came down and gave her a hug. It wasn't a usual type of interaction for us, but I thought that she might like some comfort. She spoke first, breaking in a hug in a flurry of motherly attentiveness "Aiden, have you eaten?….Charlie and I just made breakfast, and there's plenty left….you really ought to go get yourself some. I know how you college boys eat…..right out of the microwave. That isn't healthy for you, you know." I laughed. "Thanks Mrs. Welsh…..I actually DID go and get some of your amazing breakfast, your husband invited me to help myself. I flushed at not having waited to ask Sid's mom first, thinking with my stomach not my head…..Mrs. Welsh cut into my thoughts "Aiden", she said with a playfully authoritative tone, "When are you going to start calling me Sue, you know I HATE Mrs. Welsh….that's not even my mother, that's my granny." We'd had this conversation before and I'd always been raised to call parents by last names only, as a demonstration of respect. But, considering our shared woes and the closer bonds we were forming, I seemed appropriate to acquiesce to her request. "Sorry, Sue!" I said "You sure don't look anything like anyone's grandma. Charlie's a lucky man." I put of my best mischievous grin "You Welsh woman sure are beautiful!" I exclaimed, finishing with a wink. Sid's family is Southern, if you haven't deducted that by now, they're from Oklahoma, so maybe not SOUTH south, but Southern. Like any Southern woman worth her salt, Sue went to pop the back of my head for my impish comment. Like any normal college boy, I'd learned to dodge the various forms of reprimand my witty humor tended evoke.

I laughed that "you can't get me" kind of laugh and headed towards the door and a leisurely pace, I know when a whap to the head is properly owed to me. I got it too, and laughed even more. "Hey Sue, I'm going to pick Marcus up at about noon for lunch and some bike parts if that's alright." "Sure hun, he could use the company and the time out." Sue said delicately; her tone implied what she and I didn't want to voice. He was sad, she was sad, everyone was sad…..Sid was gone. I was at a loss for what to say next, and I suppose it was one of those moments where there just isn't anything to say. So I said to Sue with the best smile I could muster "See you again at noon Sue." With that, I continued out the door.

I knew I owed it to Sid and to her great family to be there and be supportive, but once I made it back to the house I let out an audible sigh of relief. It's not easy to keep a cheerful demeanor around people who know you so well, and know your hurt as exactly as someone else can possibly know it. It wasn't too far off noon, 10:30, so I decided to hop into the beat up old Ford Ranger, who was my lifeline right now, and head out to where Sid and I went together for some peaceful time alone.

The park wasn't far off, and the animals were always out at this time of year, and oftentimes with young new offspring. It was one of Sid's favorite places; she'd actually taken me here after we'd been dating for a while. I didn't want to see the animals today though. I parked the truck and headed away from Wheating Farms proper and down one of the beat up trails beside all the land used for farming. After a good 10 minutes of walking I recognized the slight irregularity in the gravel path, where it branched into the dirt between the trees by a few feet. Aside from the slight gap in the trees, this early in the year when everything was dirt, the gravel going into the trees was the only indicator of Sid and my path. Later when the melt-off came from the mountains the grass would green up and there would be a distinguishable worn trail through it, but it didn't matter….we'd walked our path so many times I think I'd find it even if I'd gone blind. It was the one place left that I could "find" Sid. It was our place, and it felt sometimes like I was drawn to it by some unseen force. I would feel tired and heartbroken and end up here at the start of this path, and as I walked to its end all the sorrow and despair would fade back, it felt like, tiny little bits every footstep. I got to the end pretty quickly today; I think I was desperate for some solace. I sat down on the big fallen tree trunk and then laid down across its length. The canopy of trees was thick enough that I only saw bits of glittering light through the many shades of green leaves. It was peaceful, the little bits of streaming light warming me, the smell of dirt, and plant, and fresh air…..it was Sid, Sid was my summer.

I don't prey, I'm not religious, and I confess that the idea of talking to someone who isn't there has baffled me, until that moment that is. In that moment, I felt like Sid would hear what I had to say, like she had to, like it was impossible for her not to, because everything around me was Sid.

"I miss you Sid..." I whispered quietly to the wind around me, "I wish I knew where to find you…..where to even start looking…..that I had a clue that you were safe even." My voice started to break, so I fell into silence. I let my hand fall into the dirt on either side of the log, it was cool and damp….and pointy? Wiggling my fingers around in the spot I'd been poked by some object that clearly wasn't dirt I heard a tiny scrapping sound of metal against metal. The feeling of Sid should have vanished with my distraction, but it felt counter intuitively stronger. I pushed myself up and dug at the spot of dirt. What I found made me feel simultaneously the happiest I've been in almost a year now….and the single most desperate feeling man on the planet….I was sure of it.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Some Kind of Hope

The tiny little handcrafted earring sat in my hand encrusted with dirt. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was definitely Sid's, I know, I bought it for her. She was wearing them the day she went missing too; they were a favorite of hers. The light copper colored metal with a ribbed texture overlapped by little shiny metal loops that delicately dangled in contrast to the darker copper were made here in a local store, they were one of a kind….and they were….here. Involuntarily, my heart and mind started racing. Was Sid here? Somewhere near? Had she been here for some reason before she went missing? After she went missing? Did this mean for certain that she was alive…..OH GOD…did someone bury her here? I started digging frantically at the spot with my own hands before I realized I was being foolish…..aside from a few inches of loose dirt on the top, the ground here was obviously undisturbed. But she HAD at least been here since the last time that he saw her, they hadn't come to their spot that day…..they had been in town the whole afternoon and evening. I looked over the earring with great care for any detail that might tell me how long it had been there…..there really wasn't much….except that copper rusts fairly easily…maybe it hadn't been here long at all, the copper background of the earring was perfectly shiny and entact….no rust…which means, maybe, that it hadn't gotten very wet, so maybe it hadn't seen rain. It rained just this past Friday. It was Monday…..Sid could have been here as recently as the last couple of days….. the time isn't a certain thing, but there was no way this earring had been here a whole year. "With as much time as I spend and have spent here"—he thought out loud—"I would have found it by now right?"

I jumped up, intent on telling the Welsh's about what I'd found and alerting the police….but was it really fair to them…..I knew the torment, the mental anguish of going back and forth….ALIVE or GONE…I should just bring her home, that was the right thing to do. The police case had closed quite some time ago, the was the off chance I was wrong about the earrings that she was wearing the last day I saw her….and in that case I was chasing a dead end….but still I think she would have said if she lost them, she loved them so much….I felt pretty sure that this meant something, that it would lead somehow to finding my Sidney….but it wouldn't be fair to break anyone else's heart if I was wrong. I needed to do this alone; after all I'd lost her all on my own.

I spent the rest of the morning looking for any traces of anything else belonging to Sid, the other earring, a hair pin, anything…..I dug through all the loose dirt, combed the paths we walked over and over, and turned up completely and utterly empty-handed….but I still had her earring. I needed to head back to the Welsh household and pick up Marcus, so I headed back to my dirty old truck with a newfound hope and a reinforced state of vigilance.

Seeing Marcus was tough….I almost wanted to crack and tell him I thought his sister was alive. I looked at his defeated slumped shoulders and down casted eyes as he approached the truck with his bike. I put on my best, most cheery smile and said "Hey!"….I am not an Oscar-worthy actor, not by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm sure Marcus knew that I was trying for him, and maybe he might try for himself to feel a little better. I helped him load the bike into the back of my truck, the tail-gate is stuck and doesn't come down, so it probably was a two person job. After he shut his door I cranked on one of the few radio stations that this town can actually receive. It was CCR, "Bad Moon On the Rise", it was a fun song…..well it was a cool song and it sort of fit half way between Marcus's melancholy mood and my new found sense of determination to accomplish something against all odds.

The road to B&D is boring, and I couldn't think of a lot to talk about, which was okay, because Marcus couldn't either….damn I was really not helping him out any by sitting in silence. Okay….so girls…no…..not appropriate, sports….other than his bike Marcus is the most athletically challenged individual you could ever meet, so scratch that…..ahhh…movies. "So, Marcus…..did you see that new action movie with Will Smith…..he lands on earth, when it's ya know…not really an inhabitable planet anymore?" Yeah….I guess that wasn't a suave and naturally flowing as I was going for. Marcus laughs at my attempt. "Ya know", he says, "I know you hurt as bad as I do, you don't have to try to be cheerful either…..it isn't your responsibility to make everyone else feel better, you lost someone too." At this, I do break….I have to tell her family…starting with Marcus, who was just as sincere and candid with me as he could possibly be. "huuuughhh" I let out a heavy sigh, this is nerve-wracking, if I'm wrong about this being a clue to finding her, if I don't find her after I tell them about this…I let everyone down. Well, I've never like a gamble, but hiding something from him after his attempt to reach out to me seems like a really poor way to pay the boy back. So with my usual amount of social grace and etiquette I blurt out "I-found-your-sister's-earring-in-the-dirt-at-the- place-she-and-I-spend-time-together-this-morning-a nd-I'm-pretty-sure-she-was-wearing-it-when-she-wen t-missing-I-think-she-might-have-been-there-since- I-saw-her-last-maybe-even-recently." I'm not sure how to interpret Marcus's stare, he looks confused, but he breaks out of it the next moment and he HITS me! "Why the hell would you say something like that?! Why would you play games? She gone, don't you know? Everyone else has accepted it, we're trying to let go….why can't you do the same, why do you have to be such an ass? Don't you fucking realize that you're clinging to my DEAD sister is hurting me and my mom and my dad?!"

Without thinking I slam on the breaks, it's good that Glendale is a tiny little town and that the roads are consistently dead. I don't even recognize my own voice, I can only assume the growled words "Sid is NOT dead." must have issued from my mouth. Whoever said it, it seemed to effectively render Marcus silent the rest of the drive to the burger joint. After my heart rate slowed back down and I have forgotten the ache in my jaw from Marcus's punch-I need to teach this kid to throw a punch—I realize I need to apologize for startling him and continue to try to help him accept the truth of things, that we don't know. Not knowing is harder, I think, than pretending that Sid might be really gone….but she deserves it, she deserves everyone looking for her and remembering that she is capable and tough, she deserves to be alive.

"Marcus", I say cautiously, "I know you think I'm an ass right now, and you are probably right, but I'm a truthful ass." I stop waiting for him to wind up for another swing, okay so far so good. "If I showed you the earring I found would it give me any more credibility?" –No response. – "Okayyyy, well I will show you once we are at the diner." Frazzled from the, admittedly weak attempt at an assault, and from the million thoughts about Sid flowing through my head like an F5 tornado, I forgot to slow down at the turn in for B&D. My truck is a truck, and is it also an old truck with horrible shocks, the bumpy old road into the place reminds me of that without any sort of mercy, I bounce both of us around in the truck hard enough that Marcus bumped his head against the roof of the cab. –This would have been an ironic justice if I didn't know the guy well enough to know he was already beating himself up over the whole punching incident. As soon as I have the truck parked I hold true to my word, and pull out the tiny earring from the pocket of my gym shorts-I should store it someplace safer once I'm home-and hand it over to Sid's little brother. Marcus examined it much the same way I did, with careful scrutiny and a look of sheer disbelief. Finally he decided to talk. "Where was it Aiden?" he asked still sounding much too downtrodden in light of this new evidence. "It was in the dirt, right next to the log we always sit on, I think it must have been dropped there pretty recently, it's pretty clean and I didn't wash it." I wait patiently for him to process what I've told him and what it could mean.

I'm not really sure what to make of his delayed reaction. "Let's go get some burgers dude, I'm starving." He says, handing me back the earring as quickly as if it were a venomous snake. I don't want to push him further on the subject, because it's fairly clear that whatever he is thinking or feeling about it, he doesn't want to share. B&D has kept its classic 50's diner look pretty well maintained; I think it might even have the original staff. Most of the employees are at least in their 50's and probably pushing 60's in some cases. Since Marcus was still being reclusive and moody, and had decided to slide into the booth near the old jukebox, I went over to the neon wrapped counter and ordered two of the biggest burgers and largest chocolate shakes that the place had, and fries…man they had awesome artery clogging fries. Since the place has done its best to maintain that classic rock n' roll theme, I go and plop myself down waiting for the waitress to bring our food over to us. The seats are black with white pin striping and light pink cushions, and there's neon everywhere advertising summer shakes and Wednesday burger nights. Marcus still isn't talking, so I occupy myself with looking at all the art on the walls. There's a pretty good grouping of 50's singers and classic cars hanging from the walls from metal plaques and tacked up posters. I focus in on Elvis because I recognize him first, he makes me remember.

Sid was in a pretty green dress that hinted at a Marilyn Monroe sort of style, it was our one year anniversary. She liked Elvis, I felt corny as hell, but I did it all anyway. I'd put together dinner, took the time to look up a recipe for pasta and prepare it all from scratch and put on Elvis's "Can't Help Falling In Love" after dinner. We'd done most of the typical things that couples do- I'd made love to her before even if we hadn't established that that was what it was-but there was something special about slow dancing with her. Both of us were barefoot at her parents place with the lights off and the dull glow of twilight illuminating her face while she had the biggest girliest smile I've ever seen on her. Her parents had taken off to go camping for the weekend, and I think they intentionally gave us the privacy, but every article of her clothing stayed on that night. I laid down with her in my arms and kissed her forehead and we talked until she fell asleep. I never slept that night, I just held her; that was the night I started thinking I probably was in love with Sid.

Marcus pulled me out of his parents and away from the memory of Sid- I had it down, right to the way she smelled, and how her hair fell when she looked up at me through it all- but I wanted more than a memory, Marcus apparently was in the same boat. "So, you think you can find her Aiden? Do you think she might be okay, even after all this time? His voice started breaking, so he just looked up at me expectantly. I suddenly felt like Atlas, more like Atlas if he'd been shrunk with that ray thing from the movie where the kids shrunk their parents and then handed the Earth to tote around. You get the gist. Anything but telling him I didn't know was taking on a huge responsibility, and telling him I didn't know might crush him even more than he already was, might destroy him. "Marcus, I said hesitantly, "I won't quit looking for Sid until I know where she is and what happened to her." It wasn't a promise to bring her back exactly, and it certainly wasn't a promise that I'd find her alive, but it was a promise that I would spend my last little bit of energy looking for Sid if that's what it took. It was a promise to give it my all, and he understood it for exactly what it was.

The rest of my time with Marcus was considerably easier going than the drive down to the diner, and we got his bike parts pretty quickly because it was getting 'd laughed a little and chatted after we ate and shared a common sense of relief. I'd done the right thing in telling him, I'd gotten a smile out of him a couple times while we traded jokes and stories in the diner. When we pulled up to his parents I asked him with a quiet and reserved voice, the kind you use for a sick child, or an injured animal "Want me to tell your mom and dad Marcus?" He looked up and smiled, "They are going to be really happy to know that there's even a chance after all this time, I'll let them know Aiden. And uhh….sorry….for hitting you I mean, and thanks for continuing to get it through my thick head." He reached up faster than greased lighting, and I was a little confused and concerned that I was about to get another close up of his fist, but he'd hugged me. He was a teenage boy, to hug another dude meant gratitude beyond measure, yeah…I'd done the right thing, but there was one more thing I realized I needed to do. "Here Marcus", I said, pulling the earring back out of my pocket, "You and your parents should have this, and it will help break the news to them too." Taking the earring he smiled at me wordlessly, and turned back to his house walking quickly.

I was beat; it had been a LONG day. So, I was pretty relieved when I got out of my truck and heard the familiar crunch of gravel under my sneakers. I felt even better when I fell into bed and killed the night stand light sending the entire room into what was just shy of complete darkness. It had been a long time since I had slept with any sense of peace, free of my plaguing guilt, but it certainly felt like I would tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

The Underworld

I woke up with a sore back and the bitter taste of what had been identified to me as limestone. I guess my kidnapper, deranged as he was, was sort of handsome. I'm positive that he'd be every goth girl's dream boy, but I don't do tall, dark, and stalker-y. He'd identified himself as both Jesse, and recently as Hades, the guy had some issues….I just hope he wasn't the type to do some sort of weird disturbing things to his victims. I'd been here for so long though, I'd lost count of days, and mostly he just had a huge store of cheesy pick-up lines and really had it in for Aiden. So far, even though he had some serious codependency issues, he didn't actually seem dangerous, just delusional –that's a cheery batch of thoughts for the morning- I thought to myself.

I hadn't even rolled over when Jesse/Hades/crazy kidnapper noted that I was among the conscious. I'd refused to eat for probably about 3 days before I caved. I decided that if he was going to poison me it was a lot better than the pain of my stomach eating itself, after three days that really starts to hurt! So, when my lanky-lurking-loony of a kidnapper decided to sweeten another day of imprisonment with a full breakfast, as in eggs, bacon, pancakes, sausage, juice, the works…I had to admit to myself that I should at least try to be civil. I honestly think he was just really lonely in his little…hole…and decided (once he had his mental breakdown that is) that he needed company.

Oh yeah- the hole- I went back to talking to myself internally again…..why a hole? Is he a wanted criminal, and I haven't even really seen him leave, come to think of it I hadn't seen him appear either…he was just kind of here EVERY moment I have been awake in this hellhole for longer than I want to know. The guy writes me poetry, and reads it, he cooks for me, even bought me clothing and launders it…I guess this is every girl's dream? Personally all I can think of after being –literally- holed up this long is a big open sky, a sleeping bag, and maybe some more of the S'mores Aiden and I made this summer. Aiden….that hurts….it hurts that sometimes when I _was_ especially gloomy Jesse/Hades _used to _let me see him through some weird super modern T.V. webcam monitoring system that really looks like the screen is a natural extension of the surrounding rock-it must have cost him a massive amount of money….but he's hiding, so maybe he's a reclusive genius and did it himself? He certainly doesn't act like a genius, he ACTS like the absolute worst corniest boyfriend that every girl has had sometime during her teenage years -the one who calls every 20 minutes just to say "I love you".

I guess I must have been staring blankly again, lost in all those thoughts, because when I come back to home sweet hole in the ground breakfast is in front of me, that hesitation I lost at day 3, yeah it's still gone, I like food. I guess it doesn't matter much where I am, that particular quality is not going to change. Besides, I literally –thinking to myself- at least it isn't talking yet- have no one to impress here. Hey! –I guess I joke in my head too? - Maybe he will be repulsed by my eating habits, and realize over time they won't change, and dump me back where he left me.

Getting back to Aiden, because that's like my vacation home here….well except that he looks damn near suicidal, and that's where the whole "was" and "used to" thing comes into play. I was pretty upset seeing Aiden sitting on the log where we always spent time together, sitting there talking to me like I was a ghost, like I was dead. I'm not a calm collective kind of upset if you actually manage to anger me, so I did the one rational, logical thing to do when you are upset with a potentially dangerous kidnapper. I hit him HARD. I gave him the best uppercut to the gut I can muster, and I'm not a little girl, it's a good hit. While he was doubled over I started chucking things at the screen as hard as I could in an attempt to break it, unfortunately that consisted of my earrings and a shoe. The shoe didn't make it, I was too far away, but one of the earrings did reach the screen…at least I think it did, but I never heard it hit the screen…and I didn't see it in the floor. Considering that I was a good 50 feet from the screen behind some brutally ugly bars though, it could very well have been just out of my line of sight. That was yesterday, and since Jesse/Hades stocked away in a huff and disappeared into whatever was around the corner, I'm assuming my viewing privileges are suspended indefinitely. His silent presentation of my breakfast sort of confirms this, normally he likes to sound like a badly written teenage love story exploded in his brain and wiped out all other paths of thought. It's really pretty gross.

I picked through the eggs and the hash browns that looked, and probably were, home cooked. –Why does he go through all this effort? - I silently ask myself. After all, it isn't like I can go anywhere or do anything about being around him...and he KIDNAPPED me, it doesn't exactly make for the beginning of some great love story. Jesse/Hades returned a little after I'd finished picking at the food he brought in.

"I don't see what you see in him Sid", he said sadly, almost with resignation. "Aiden has trouble deciding what cereal he's going to have for breakfast….the guy is in his twenties…he barely knows what he's doing for the day, let alone for the rest of his life, where do you think that leaves you fitting in?" he pushed. Yeaaaah…..this was really a good time to keep my mouth shut, this guy was ticking me off. "He's going to do what young guys do, Sid, his tastes are going to change, and he's going to move on, he's going to drop you like yesterday's paper. The best you could hope for is that he isn't potty training some puppy when he decides that he's outgrown you relationship with him. Do you want to end up being the metaphorical potty pad for all the crap he doesn't want to deal with when he decides it's time to part ways?!" He was raising his voice now, growing impatient with my lack of response. Well I was getting tired of not responding. "What!?" I asked, "You think you are so much older? So much more suave? More experienced? You think that your brief time of holding me captive has given you the secrets to my soul? What is it EXACTLY that makes you think you are any better?" His words were soft, but they hit like a freight train.

"I love you Sid." I was dumbfounded. In all the time Aiden and I had together, we hadn't quite worked up to that yet. We'd both been drug through some REAL crap, we were both cautious with our feelings, and I knew I loved him, but truth be told we'd never _told_ one another. Now this weird delusional lurpy guy who liked to spend his time in caves making advances on hostage women had beaten him to the punch. Weirdly, it kind of makes me irritated with Aiden…..that's not very fair I know. He interrupted my sideline thoughts and took my hand, I wanted to hit him, but I decided that I DID like that he fed me and that I better quit making him angry. "I've lived a long life, a really full life. I KNOW what I want in a partner. I know a beautiful woman when I see one. I don't mean just your body Sid….you are amazing. I could love you forever. My mind wouldn't change; I could love you just like all the fairy tales girls keep thinking are how the world works. Only, for you, I would really make it happen. I would make sure you were happy every day for the rest of your life. You'd never feel lonely, you'd never question my feelings for you, and you would never have to ask for anything that could make you happier, you would have everything you could want." K- so I like food, but apparently my hate for cheesy romance and clingy behavior is worse. "Great!" I said, "So you will let me out of this cage then?" I asked without expectation. "You will let me go home and go back to my family and my boyfriend, and you will disappear like a bad memory?" He started to object, but I continued, butting him off ", because all of those things would definitely make me happy. Actually let me rephrase that, I will be as bitchy as I possibly can, I will make your life a living hell, until you let me go and bring me back home-once you do that I will be so happy even Barbie couldn't beat my smile."

He turned away at that and began to walk out of the room. Looking over his shoulder at me, he smiled wistfully "The saddest thing Sid", he said, "Is that I've watched you for such a long time. I know everything about you, to the last little detail. I think if you got to know me with the same amount of devotion for the task, that you just might love me as deeply as I love you." With that he disappeared around the corner and left me to my melancholy. I muse to myself; he doesn't know a thing about love. You can't be pushed into it, and in fact as soon as you attempt to change who or what someone is, you cease to show that you love them. He changed my whole life; he's kept me locked up. He could have catalogued my whole life away, but he doesn't want to love me, he wants to possess me.

There isn't much to do in a little rock wall and metal barred cell, so I entertain myself by thinking of how I might get out of this place. Aiden is looking for me I'm sure, well he was….now he probably thinks I've been murdered. I don't know how long I've been here, but it's been at least a year. The only time I've left this cell is to shower and dress. Oddly, Jesse has a room that has most of the normal things a bedroom has. It's _his_ room though, and as such, it is not secured the way my little human sized hamster cage is. I did also mention that it has mostly normal things; his adjoined bathroom has a dark marbled garden bath tub. I really want to know how he managed to get that down here. It is admittedly amazing. It's pretty much the only time that I am in a good mood here, and the only time I have privacy. WOW….I only have a private moment when I'm on the toilet or in the bath….it could be worse I could have a very not private bath. My body gives an involuntary shudder at the thought. It looks like I am going to be here indefinitely at least, maybe until I find a way out. Thinking to myself, I come to the realization that I am going to have to play into his affections. If I want the security to become more lax I am going to have to make him trust that I feel the same. I'm going to have to convince him that I'm falling in love. "Haha…" I give a weak chuckle, here's to hoping that I can convince him that does not include sharing his gigantic bed. Although, the worn out little mattress I've been on has definitely seen better days. Maybe if I'm nicer and there is another room to this place besides this one and his I can sleep someplace away from all the stalactites, stalagmites, and metal bars. Maybe this place won't be so much like prison if Jesse believes I'm falling in love with him…..whew…and ick….but necessary.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

The News and the Deceit

I think it's part of Murphy's Law, I really do. Those weren't my first thoughts as I fumbled with my cell phone at 11 at night. I'd had a peaceful hour of sleep. Now I was awake, sort of. My phone was nothing fancy; it didn't even have a slide out key board. Let alone the internet. So its loud ring was just that, a ring. It is a truly horrible, ear shattering noise when it pulls you from sleep. I looked at the tiny blue glowing window. It was Sid's parents. I was awake, for them I'd try to rein in my inner grouch…who was suddenly feeling much more extroverted. "Hullo…" I mumbled semi-coherently in to the mouth piece.

Mr. Welch's voice came over dull and monotone, it was empty, and it scared me. "Thanks for giving Marcus the earring Aiden. We are going to need some time as a family here. They…." His voice started to crack; I could hear his tears in his next words. "They found her shoe in the river, in the deeper part where it hits the reservoir." He took another painful breath in. "She's gone Aiden, the police have reopened the case, they are considering the possibility of murder or suicide. I'm sorry Aiden, I need to go." The line went dead.

If you've ever had really bad news, then you'll know the feeling I'm describing now. I just felt numb, my body and my brain were not computing what I'd just heard. It couldn't be true; I'd wake up from this, and find that I had no call from the Welch's on my call log. It had to be a nightmare, Sid couldn't actually be gone….

I found myself in the closet, I don't even remember maneuvering my way to it, but when I looked down and gave notice to what my body was doing I found a bottle of Jack in my hands. It seemed fitting. So I cracked the seal and made my way back to the bed, bottle in hand. Sooner or later my brain would catch up to the panic surging through my body and the consuming pain in my chest, but not tonight.

-back in the underworld—

I hadn't thought I would set such a self-destructive behavior off in Aiden by planting the shoe in the river. Mostly, I'd just finally realized the only way Sid would ever love me is if her other life was just gone. She'd never give me the time of day if she kept thinking about the things that she wanted to return to. The only option was for everyone to really believe she was gone, only then could she see how really cruel human nature could make people. She could watch her _boy_ and her family move on let her go, live on in memory without questioning the evidence at hand any further than the sorely understaffed police department. I didn't really want the boyfriend to die, but he wasn't a fish—and even a fish couldn't live in the amount of alcohol he was consuming. He'd be alright for the night though, and maybe I could arrange some sort of intervention if there wasn't improvement. One thing is certain, if he died over all this Sid would never let him go. No, he needed to fall in love with another girl….he needed to break her heart a little. I'm an asshole, and I know it, but she really will be much happier with me. I can really be the perfect man; I could be anything for her. Right now, that anything happened to be a chef, she'd be awake soon. With the boyfriend/life dilemma being slowly worked on, I needed to really turn on the charm, to be sweet and understanding. I should probably get her out of that cage and into her own room. There isn't really an exit from this place, unless she figured out the portals….the only escape was deeper into the land of sinners and evil souls.

Bringing breakfast down on a tray, carefully prepared and made to look like a five-star restaurant type of meal, I had my hopes up that maybe I'd make some progress with her today. I gently nudged her awake, brushing the hair out of her face as she looked up at me. Several emotions flashed across her face quickly enough that I wasn't sure what to make of it. Anger, hesitation, and a smile…smile? She was happy with my appearance? Or about something….what? She hadn't been happy since I brought her down here. I was definitely confused.

Suddenly her expression changed again as she sat the tray of food down and looked deeply saddened. "Jesse" she addressed me softly, "I miss my family and friends. I feel alone. I don't know if I could love you, and I'm not saying at all that I do. I don't feel anything for you really; I just want to go home. You won't let me do that, but maybe….just so I don't feel so alone, would you hold me for a while…I miss the feeling of someone being there and I just need….comfort." She started crying….this is something I am not very good at dealing with. Yeah I know….Hades, torturer and rapist, Lord of the Underworld, and crying girls make me look like a total pansy. It's just, I don't know what to do with them, if I don't have instructions and I'm not doing my job that is. I slid over carefully next to her and put an arm around her, she surprised me further and scooted into my embrace, moving into a curled up position in my lap and resting her upper body against my chest. This is what I wanted right? Right. Kay. So I put my arms gently around her, half expected her to start inflicting major bodily harm at any moment. The girl is just a girl, but she is NOT by any means a weak human, she packs a punch. I know that from the battle scars she inflicted while I wrestled her down to the portal that leads into my humble little abode. But, she stayed still, she actually snuggled into my chest and her breathing slowed, and her tears stopped, she was, or at least appeared to be calmed by the physical contact between us.

We sat on the floor of her cell like this for several minutes before she spoke. "I'm sure you are really confused Jesse. I'm not sorry I've been terrible to you; you took me away from everything I cared about and that takes time to accept, if I ever can. However, after you told me you loved me last night….I realized I'm desperately in need of just that….I've been isolated so long and stuck in my own head. I need someone to show they care. There's no one else here, and you say that you do, so maybe I will at least try to open myself to the possibility that you could be nice, given the chance. "Her words literally stopped my breath; this was my chance to actually start some sort of relationship with her, saying the wrong thing could bring the whole thing crashing down. I needed to stick to very few and simple words. "I understand how you feel, at least to an extent Sidney. I was here alone too….until I brought you here. I don't use my loneliness as an excuse to have brought you down, but maybe at least, you could see that it is hard to be so alone. I understand at least that much, the need for companionship is and has always been a very driving force for me. I understand that you still do not have any love for me, but maybe I can at least offer you an open ear and more hospitable conditions? I am selfish, and I know it. I can't let you leave, but I'd like to make you as happy as I am capable with me " So…not sort but honest at least…..I start to think I've blown it as silence stretches even longer between us. "I'd like that Jesse, I….I think I'd feel a lot better if I felt I had at least a friend in all of this. This is…..hard." She started to tear up again, so I tried, again out of selfishness, a different approach to end my own personal version of hell. I bumped her chin up gently with my pointer and middle finger and said "Hey, there's another room I've been working on just for you. It still needs some personal affects, but other than that it has to be better than this." I gestured around the bars and stone and down to the rough rock and dirt ground of her holding cell. "Okay" she said, with a small amiable smile on her tear-stained face.

I took her small hand and helped her off the ground. Surprisingly, she kept a loose grip on my hand as I walked her through the crude entryway and out of the part of the cave that I'd kept her in for a year and nearly another month on top of that now. Being a god has its perks, it does mean that I can change my environment at will, it takes energy and I do actually have to do things the mundane way sometimes. I can change a material that is already there, but scientists weren't lying when they said that matter cannot be created or destroyed. I had changed my "home" end of the underworld into a small apartment like interior with stone walls –I did my best to go for a marble effect—and I had even made the multiple trips to Home Depot and Ikea for furniture and carpeting, this was before I ever saw Sid though….this was almost immediately after I'd realized that I could recreate the same portal that brought lost or tainted souls into my realm in any realm I wanted, and that it wasn't a unidirectional sort of thing. I could leave, although it was extremely taxing on me, like a human feels like after swimming a really long distance. My body is not made to travel across the realm of the living for extended periods of time….it's a nice workout though. The end result was that I had a place, a home, like most humans did. I liked it, it was worth the trouble. It made my endless existence a little more bearable, and anything that did that was worth the effort tenfold. It was worth tenfold on top of that seeing the look on Sidney's beautiful face. She was obviously surprised by the change in scenery, and she paused a few times down the long hall to touch paintings that I had appropriated and small oil lamps that I had mounted at intervals down the wall. My home was sort of 16th century Europe meets cave. I liked the oil lamps, and it was a lot easier lighting than electrical wiring and some sort of generator would have been. I chose a deep dark red, brown, and black carpet with an intricate scroll pattern. It matched well with the dark colored cave walls and the lighting made the colors appear even richer. I think Sidney must like it too, she seemed to be rather in awe during our walk down the hall. I _did_ admittedly spend a small fortune and considerable effort on the assembly of Sid's bedroom. I kept with the 16th century sort of theme, up to and including one of those cast iron pans that people put hot coals into that warm the foot of old beds. There were several artistically placed oil lamps, a rather beautiful painting of a naked female angel, and the best part of the room, a gigantic bed whose frame was made of a very dark wood, including the canopy. I had selected a deep green and gold for the room, with shades of brown here and there to accent the color scheme. The bed was the focal point of the room with the almost gauzy gold and green canopy and brown silky comforter and pillows. Next to the bed, I'd placed a large vanity that exactly matched the color and style of the bed, it was an old fashioned one made of the same dark wood as the bedframe, and it included a dark wood chair with an intricate scrolling pattern on its back. I told her I wanted her to be as happy as possible with me, that I loved her. I hoped that the bedroom gave a good indicator of the effort I was willing to put in to see her happy.

If nothing else, I knew that she appreciated the room. She walked around the perimeter of it gracing each carefully selected and placed piece with a delicate touch. I coughed lightly to get her attention. "This is your room Sidney, when there is spare time I can bring in some of your things. Is there anything in specific you might want?" Her happy and entranced demeanor faded quickly at my words. "My family might not see me again…..I don't want to take any memory from them. I would rather leave them my things." Seeing sadness darken her eyes and lower her head, I resigned myself to learn of new things that I could bring to this place to make it "hers"

"Perhaps I could bring you some new things for entertainment?" I asked. "I love reading, and writing, and music, but my entertainment is hardly a priority." She responded somewhat curtly. Keeping in mind that kindness and patience would warm her to me I ignored the tone and reassured her that her happiness was very much a priority for me. "I do not like to see you sad Sid, I told you before that I love you. I meant it. I want to see you happy. I think bringing things to you that you do enjoy might help with that, if you would be so kind as to be open to the idea." She smiled a small smile and agreed to experiment with my idea, it wasn't horribly convincing, but I felt happy that she was at least willing to try.

The rest of the day was blissful for me, Sidney was opening up. It was like that rush you get when you breathe in really cold air. It wakes you instantly and almost makes your body ache with the crispness and freshness of it. The small taste of what it would be like to be a real part of Sid's life had definitely awakened something in me, and certainly had left some part of me aching for a stronger bond. I would not rush her though, this had to be done in perfect sync with her feelings or it would ultimately end in complete and utter failure. I listened carefully about her home town and the details of her schooling and family; I even sat patiently through her description of Aiden despite her tears. When the afternoon started fading to evening hours told her I needed to make dinner for us. "Maybe I could help?" She offered. "I do like cooking and I don't want to be idle anymore, I think keeping entertained does help Jesse. You were smart to think of things in that light." That she might stay as contented as she had been during the rest of the day was a cincher for her case. "Follow me", I said with a smile, "I'd actually love the company and the assistance."

We prepared food and talked about different dishes we'd both tried, and sometimes failed, to recreate, and when dinner was done we both went back to Sid's room and ate on the bed, just talking about her life. Although the last few hours were as wonderful as those we had together earlier, I left her after a few hours so that she could sleep and I could check on how things were transpiring top-side.


	6. Chapter 6 Broken Bliss

**A/N For anyone who has the moment I would absolutely love hearing feedback! What do you like/dislike? I'm trying to keep this fun with the sarcastic, dry, wry humor. Is it working?** **Any ideas where this is going? Bet you will be surprised. :) **

CHAPTER 6

Broken Bliss

Soon after Jesse's departure I found myself thinking of all that he had done. The effort he put into his little home was almost disconcerting, for him this was not a temporary arrangement that much was clear. I kept reminding myself that he was not in love, that he was crazy, and possessive. The amount of effort he put into designing the house was almost as unnerving as his constant focus on making me realize his feelings for me and accept them. He wanted me to be a little toy doll in a fancy house. I was something to keep, not _someone_ to love….I kept repeating this all in my head pacing the little area around the bed. I was going to go crazy; I needed to get my mind off of all of this. It would be good to walk around and see what I could discover. The added bonus to this was that Jesse would get used to the idea of me moving around and not trying to escape, which in turn increased my odds greatly when the time came to do so.

I stole out of my room during what I can only assume were the wee hours of the morning, it had been quite some time since Jesse had left me, and best I could tell he kept a relatively regular schedule. The flames in the oil lamps were kept down very low, and some of them in fact were extinguished in the extravagant hallway. Seeing as there were only four doors to the whole hall and a locked trapdoor at the end furthest from my old prison, I didn't have much exploring to do and the minimum light available to me was more than sufficient. I'd seen the washroom and the kitchen, deductive logic would tell me that since I'd seen the kitchen and the washroom that the only room I hadn't ventured into must be his. I didn't want to give him the idea that I had any romantic intention coming to him in the middle of the night, but I think that if I happened to that I could rectify the problem rather quickly. As sweet and caring as he had been today, even though I was admittedly feeling guilty for playing him, he was still my kidnapper and I still needed to get free. I made a mental note though, to be as nice and caring to him as he was to me, it didn't really sit right with me to be as cruel as I had been knowing that he must be severely disturbed and probably a really nice guy underneath whatever really massive insecurities and delusions he carried. That being said I was going to put on a face and see about having a peek around his room; it would give clues to triggers and was probably the room that his guard was most lax in.

As I approached his room I heard some slightly off key and rather broken tune issuing forth. I idly wondered if it was him for a few moments before continuing onward. With my room to compare it to in advance, his room, although full of the same type of intricate old furniture, was no surprise to me. He was in front of another one of those weird built-so-well-into-the-wall-it-looked-like-it-was- part-of-it T.V.'s. The broken song was coming from the T.V., and now that I was closer and could hear it properly I knew the song, and I knew the voice. It was Aiden, _my_ Aiden singing the song he danced with me to. He was singing "Can't Help Falling In Love", but there was something very off about his voice, the way he trailed off, and how incredibly far off the actual notes of the song his singing was. I must have made a noise that I didn't notice because Jesse turned around and caught me standing in the doorway. I couldn't lie about snooping, or scoping the place out because I hadn't announced myself. Once I got a clear view of the screen though, that was trivial. What I saw made me not care about anything going on here. I was out of here, if he tried to stop me I'd kill him, I'd fight him tooth and fucking nail. Because when he moved enough that I could see what he'd been watching I saw Aiden with at least one hard alcohol bottle emptied and another in his hand, his singing was off because he was near passing out from intoxication. He was going to poison himself. There were another couple of unopened bottles sitting on the floor near him. Without thinking things through, out of completely uncontrollable rage, I tore towards him, lunging out to tackle him and do who knows what afterwards. I was beyond angry. I did land on him, but in the process of him trying to calm me and disengage himself I hit the screen….only there was nothing to hit.

I..was….going…though…the screen. It was a weird sensation, like an icy-hot that had been fed steroids. One moment the part of my back and shoulder penetrating the screen felt like I'd been stuck in an ice bath, the next moment it felt like a burning sensation and the next moment as though I was being bitten over every inch of my skin, and although it's impossible internally too, by ants. It wasn't stopping me though, I used Jesse as leverage to get the rest of the way through, using my free leg to kick out at him hard, and as I hoped he took the hit and the reacting force pushed me forward. I was maybe two feet from Aiden, and he looked up at me almost in a daze. It was evident that he either didn't comprehend what he was seeing, or he didn't believe he was seeing it. It didn't matter though because I was engulfed in flames within moments of landing on the thin carpeting of his bedroom floor and then the world went black in such a short span of time that all I could think was "original or extra crispy?", no one could say I left this world without an intact sense of humor.

As if it wasn't enough to see her in my dreams…..I'd watched my Sid, the girl –woman- with beautiful golden brown hair and honey eyes go up in flames right in front of me. It was my first thought of a very hung over miserable morning. If I needed any sign that she was really gone from my own heart, I guess that that was probably it. I think honestly, even without all the alcohol my body was violently rejecting from the night before, I would have retched anyway. But between the mental agony, the lack of good night's rest, and the heavy and oppressive state of despair I was in I didn't even feel the desire to try to make it to a toilet. So, fittingly enough, the whisky, vodka, stomach bile cocktail sat in a mostly clear puddle between the two nearly empty bottles….huh…I thought with a detached state….I should probably eat more…that's way too much fluid and no solid…."haha" I chuckled darkly at my own train of thoughts…..considering I tried to drink myself not only under the table…but probably a good six feet under the ground last night being concerned about my diet seems a little redundant.

Hell…..Sid is GONE…what does matter? What should matter? -Stuff should still matter right?-I mean, they tell you your life should never revolve around one person—I believe that, I do. I thought..think? –no, thought- that I was fairly well balanced, that I had my eggs all loaded pretty evenly in several important well developed little baskets. The only basket around was the basket case I was turning into though…FUCK, if I was comparing responsibilities and life development projects to eggs I'd probably used them all up egging some metaphorical housing for my soul…..yup, I was being thoroughly dysfunctional…and even more disturbing I didn't care and I was going to curl back up and fall back asleep and let the world screw itself up in whatever turn of events was next to unfold. I didn't really want any part of it anymore did I? …

The funny thing about being engulfed in the particular set of flames that I was in is that, while I woke up damn thirsty, and not just for blood, I didn't seem to be a crispy critter. I remembered that I had wondered how charred I would be right before everything went black. I ached…I felt like someone had taken out some serious anger on my whole body with a two by four. My muscles were stiff, my eyes stung from the exposure to smoke, and I was pretty cold too. Was it shock? I remember from a safety lesson in class that shock can make you have the shivers and feel cold….I didn't feel shocky though…..I was still processing thoughts at full speed. FUCK-Now I remember why my own hellish stalkery version of the human torch had made a grab for me…..AIDEN…..OH GOD! Wait till I find that asshat -not Aiden-JESSE….I am going to make mincemeat out of his unmentionables and feed it to him with a baby spoon, and that's after I beat him senseless for fucking with Aiden's emotions like that. What the hell had he done to steal hope from him? It HAD to be something he'd done. Aiden doesn't give up; the man has more will power and determination than any other single person I've ever met. He loves me too, no small thing could have resigned him to giving up hunting for me, no; it had to be nearly undeniable proof.

I really didn't have to spend much time looking for Jesse once I decided to move my frail and fragile body and look around the bedroom that he still seemed content to let me sleep in. Why would he let me sleep uncaged? That was simple enough to answer, even though I should really quit asking myself questions and answering them- because that's crazy-, the answer was lurking by the door, lounging against a tall chest of drawers. And he had, for once, a look of remorse…..and puffy eyes.

I admit, I'm not too tough when it comes to seeing others cry. Even gigantic huge asshat stalkers who almost push my boyfriend so far over the deep end that he dies of alcohol poisoning. Apparently I'm all squishy inside—inside my head?- because even they get treated delicately when they look like a puffy eyed puppy someone kicked. I did glare though, pointedly at him, until he started to spill.

"I'm sorry. I'm an incredible asshole –correct, I thought to myself silently-and I am only proving that I don't deserve something as good as you by not earning it in an honest way. I wanted you to love me Sidney, the way you love Aiden. I saw your eyes in the moment you heard that song. You looked feral, and murderous. I'm not even mortal –the Hades thing again….although he did burst into flames unless I was going nuts, though I'm still not a believer- but the look on your face promised that you'd find a way to end me if I got between you and him. You deserve him. I thought, maybe, if I could prove his weakness and you could see him move on and forget his feelings that perhaps it would open up a chance for me. I see it now for the repulsive and manipulative action that it was. I was only made to look even more foolish for the response he did have to the news of your drowning, that he'd try to drink himself to death or shut down, never crossed my mind. I figured that he would be sad, but resigned….he IS young and NOT isolated, there's plenty of other woman out there. I figured with time he'd move on. I can see now that it's you and only you he wants. He loves you like I do, and almost as selfishly too, in reality. For that, I could sweep you away without regret were that even possible, but I see now it isn't. You love him. That's the end of the story for me really. I always hated fairytale endings."

For the record, there were about a million snarky comments going through my find every few sentences he stammered out, but I kept them in check because he was being honest and I wanted information, and freedom. I did draw the line at the drowning comment though.

"What the hell do you mean drowned? I am definitely alive and not at all waterlogged. EXPLAIN."

"I took your shoe." "And…?"I pushed. "And I put it in the river. I replaced both of your shoes anyway since you don't really wear them here, and you really had worn them to tattered messes."

I'm not sure why he thought replacing the shoes meant anything, but clearly he was terrified about revealing the truth, because he had tacked that on the end of his sentence with such haste I almost needed an interpreter.

"You lead him to think I was fish food?!" "Yeah…..I know….I'd offer to toss myself in, but I don't even really feel like I rate feeding the fish at the moment, pond scum….maybe pond scum. I will take you back in the morning Sid. I swear to it. Try to sleep, you aren't really made for inter-dimensional travel, especially with the whole brimstone and fire thing tacked on. You will feel a lot better with a solid eight hours of recovery time. I will go visit Aiden today, he's been asleep except a brief time this morning. I've been watching, when he comes to I will let him know to expect you…..don't worry, I've wronged you. I will make sure he is safe and that you are reunited."

With that he eased off the chest and walked dejectedly out the door, his shoulders slumped and back hunched with the weight of his newly announced resolution.

I couldn't say if it was exhaustion, or if I believed what he said, but regardless of the reasons I was able, I felt the last little thought of Aiden with his pretty green eyes and dusting of boyish freckles slide away as sleep pulled my back under.

I'd had years to be 'alone with my own thoughts', but it hadn't ever felt this lonely before. I had a feeling that it would only be worse once I had carried through with my promise to Sid. I owed it though. I'd had such a desire to be human, to know love, to feel with the intensity that such a short life lends to. I think I'd finally managed it. It sucks….loving someone sucks, I hadn't loved Sid before, I'd obsessed over her. Now I knew her, and I knew me. I knew that at the start of this I was still living like a GOD, expecting that I would have what I wanted and that things would be as I wished….egocentric huh? Now I understood that not only was that not true, but even more ironically the only way I could really feel human was letting go of the first person that taught me what humanity meant. The first person I ever felt a real deep, and not self-serving, feeling for. I wanted her to be happy, and even more specifically even if it meant the loss of my happiness I could not see her hurting anymore. She may have picked at me, and swore, and issued more than a few death threats, but she'd also, eventually been caring towards me- her kidnapper- and shown empathy for my situation. As proof of her inherent goodness, even just a few hours earlier, she had listened to what I had to say; she had not exactly accepted my apology, but she hadn't actively rejected it either. I had almost killed the man who had her heart in his hand, and she was still gentle with me. I could show no less compassion for her. She deserved this. It was time for me to meet Aiden.


End file.
